Oh no! I step on the duck...

Three women got killed in a traffic accident and arrived at the heaven, when they arrived there, angel saint Peter said: "In the heaven, we has a rule here, is surely do not step on to the duck." After confirmed these three women understand, they entered to heaven.

But in the heaven the duck is all everywhere, the duck nearly many to be impossible not to step on. Although they avoid vigorously, but first woman accident stepping on to.

By now, angel saint Peter immediately brings in a very ugly man to this woman, and told her: "You step on to duck’s so the penalty is must forever with this ugly man chain in the same place."

Next day, moreover the second woman not careful steps on the duck, by now saint Peter also led another extremely disgusting man to her. As is similar to the first woman’s fate, Saint Peter put the disgusting man which brings with him ties up with the second woman in the same place.

Third woman already discovered this brutal result, moreover she did not hope forever with an ugly disgusting man hitch in the same place, therefore she extremely careful with her footsteps. She has not gingerly stepped on to any duck’s, so she safely survive several months and feel so proud of herself for being so vigilant.

But one day, saint Peter arrives in front of her and bring an super model look a like man, this man not only big but also attaches with attractive long eyelas,Saint Peter chain him to that woman together and walked away. This woman ask the man that chain together: "I am very curious, why am I with your forever chain in the same place?"

This man said that, "I did not know what is your situation, but I step on to a duck."

more please!!!

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong.
He told me, ‘I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.’
I continued, ‘Well, then why are you crying?’
He added, ‘She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite biscuits, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon.’
I said, ‘Well, why are you crying?’
He said, ‘For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then we cuddle until the small hours.’ Read 5 Simple Ways to Spend Your Life Easily.
I inquired, ‘Well then, why in the world would you be crying?’
He replied, ‘I can’t remember where I live.’,,,




tr3v0r

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."

"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."


tr3v0r

Once upon a time there was a man with a 25 inch penis.

Any guy would be excited to have such a big penis, but this man was not.

So one day his friend told him about a witch who could help him.

So the friend gave the man the witch's address.

The next day he visited the witch.

After telling the witch his problems she asked to she his penis.

After showing her, she thought for awhile and finally came up with an answer.

"Go into the woods and find a frog.

Ask the frog to marry you and each time it says no, your gigantic jewels will shrink 5 inches."

The man quickly ran to the woods.

After searching for an hour he finally found a frog.

He ran up to it and asked it to marry him.

"NO Thank You" the frog said.

The man looked down and watched his penis go from 25 inches to 20.

The man asked the frog two more times, and again, it replied no.

Once he was at 15 inches he thought 10 inches would be perfect, so he went up to the frog and asked it to marry him.

The frog replied.

"How many times do I have to tell you.... NO, NO, NO"

The man looked down at his jewels and watched it go from 15 to 10, and from 10 to 5, and finally from 5 to not even a centimeter...


tr3v0r